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The Russian of Notre Dame part 7 "Topsy Turvy"
(We descend to ground level, and see Dimitri climbing down the side of the cathedral. He wanders into the crowd, as an oncoming group of people begin to sing.) * People: (Singing) Come one! Come all! Leave your looms and milking stools, coop the hens and pen the mules! Come One! Come all! Close the churches and the schools, it's the day for breaking fools! Come and join the feast...of... * Roger Radcliff: FOOLS! (Singing) Once a year, we throw a party here in town, once a year we turn all Paris upside down, every man's a king and every king's a clown, once again, it's Topsy Turvy day! It's the day the devil in us gets released. It's the day we mock the prig and shock the priest. Everything is Topsy Turvy at the feast of fools. * (Dimitri is working his way through the crowd, but he can't escape Roger, who seems to be singing to Dimitri.) * Crowd: (Singing) Topsy Turvy! * Roger Radcliff: (Singing) Everything is upsy-daisy. * Crowd: (Singing) Topsy Turvy! * Roger Radcliff: Everyone is acring crazy, dross is gold and weeds are a bouquet. That's the way on Topsy-Turvy day. * (Dimitri, having joined a chorus line of dancers, is shoved away, through a curtain and comes crashing into the dressing tent of Kayley.) * Kayley: Hey! Are you all right? * Dimitri: I didn't mean to...I'm sorry. * Kayley: You're not hurt, are you? Here, here, let's see. * Dimitri: No, no, no! * (Kayley tries to pull the hood away from Dimitri's face, and he is unsuccessful at stopping her. Ayden, upon seeing Dimitri's face, sneers. Kayley, however, doesn't flinch.) * Kayley: There. See, no harm done. Just try to be a little more careful. * Dimitri: I--I--I will. * (He starts to leave.) * Kayley: By the way, great mask! * (As Dimitri exits, we return to the celebration outside.) * Crowd: (Singing) Topsy-Turvy! * Roger Radcliff & Crowd: (Singing) Beat the drums and blow the trumpets! * Crowd: (Singing) Topsy-Turvy! * Roger Radcliff & Crowd: (Singing) Join the bums and thieves and strumpets streaming in from chartres to calais * Roger Radcliff: (Singing) Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy on the sixth of "Januervy" * Roger Radcliff & Crowd: (Singing) All because it's Topsy Turvy day! * (As Shan Yu, Garrett, and the huns enter the scene, Roger jumps onstage to present Kayley.) * Roger Radcliff: (Singing) Come one! Come all! Hurry, hurry, here's your chance, see the mystery and romance. Come one! Come all! See the finest girl in France make an entrance to enhance. Dance la Kayley... DANCE! * (On the last word, Roger disappears in a puff of smoke, and Kayley appears in his place. She proceeds to perform a sultry dance.) * Shan Yu: (To Garrett) Look at that disgusting display. * Garrett: (Enthusiastically) Yes, sir! * (Kayley continues to dance. She pulls out a handkerchief and wraps it around Shan Yu's head playfully, using it to pull him closer. She moves in to kiss him, but jumps away at the last moment. Shan Yu yanks the handkerchief off his head.) * Roger Radcliff: And now, ladies and gentlemen, the piece de resistance! (Now singing) Here it is, the moment you've been waiting for! Here it is, you'll know exactly what's in store! Now's the time we laugh until our sides get sore! Now's the time we crown the king of fools! * Roger Radcliff: Do you all remember last year's king!?! * (Last year's king, carried on the shoulders of the crowd, belches loudly) * Roger Radcliff: (Singing) So make a face that's horrible and frightening, make a face as gruesome as an alien's wing... * (Mike Wazowski is watching from far above) * Mike Wazowski: Hey! * Roger Radcliff: (Singing) For the face that's ugliest will be the king of fools! Why? * Crowd: (Singing) Topsy-Turvy! * Roger Radcliff: (Singing) Ugly folks, forget your shyness! * Crowd: (Singing) Topsy-Turvy! * Roger Radcliff: (Singing) You could soon be called your highness! * Crowd: (Singing) Put your foulest features on display * Roger Radcliff & Crowd: (Singing) Be the king of Topsy-Turvy day! * (Roger has been pulling contestants onto the stage. Kayley pulls Dimitri to the stage. Kayley works her way down the line, ripping off masks and revealing the ugly faces underneath. The festivities continue until Kayley reaches Dimitri. She tries to pull Dimitri's "mask" off, but soon realises that it's not a mask.) * Man 1: That's no mask! * Woman 1: It's his face! * Woman 2: He's hideous! * Man 2: It's the bell ringer from Notre Dame! * (Dimitri, realising that people are disgusted by him, is devastated. Shan Yu realises that the only man left standing on stage is Dimitri. Roger, trying to keep things festive, jumps in.) * Roger Radcliff: Ladies and gentlemen, don't panic. We asked for the ugliest face in Paris, and here he is! Dimitri, the Russian of Notre Dame! * (Upon hearing Roger, the crowd once again grows festive, and Roger crowns Dimitri the King of Fools.) * Crowd: (Singing) Once a year, we throw a party here in town... * Roger Radcliff: (Singing) Hail to the king! * Crowd: (Singing) Once a year, we turn all paris upside down... * Roger Radcliff: (Singing) Oh what a king! * Crowd: (Singing) Once a year, the ugliest will wear a crown... * Roger Radcliff: Girls, give him a kiss! * Crowd: (Singing) Once a year on Topsy Turvy day! * Roger Radcliff: We've never had a king like this... * All: (Singing) And it's the day we do the things that we deplore on the other three hundred and sixty-four, once a year, we love to drop in, where the beer is never stoppin', for the chance to pop some popinjay. And pick a king who'll put the top in Topsy...Turvy...day (Topsy Turvy) (Mad and crazy, upsy-daisy Topsy-Turvy day!) 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